Dimag ka jhumroo

CANTO I:

Arz kiya hai

Arz kiya hai, ADVANI ji
ab aap hume bye-bye bas keh hi dijiye

ADVANI ji ab aap hume bye-bye bas keh hi dijiye
aur aapke ‘ram ram’ ke aakhri morche mein…

(clearing my throat…)

(high pitch)
ADVANI ji… aur aapke ‘ram ram’ ke aakhri morche mein
Uss RAM JETHMALANI ko bhi saath mein le lijiye…

(a yell)
ADVANI ji… aur aapke ‘ram ram’ ke aakhri morche mein
Uss RAM JETHMALANI ko le lijiye saath mein!
Ek atal satya hai ye!

(a whisper) 
Bhai kisiko pata hai uss ATAL BIHARI ka kya hua?

CANTO II:

(People.. thoda motivate karo.. say ‘Irshad)
Ab ‘satya’ ki baat karen
toh kya kahen

Ab ‘satya’ ki baat karen
toh kya kahen…

…SHOBHAA ji…
Ab……….
Aap………
Bhi………….

…SHOBHAA ji ab aap bhi
bas likh-likh ke hamari lena chod digiye

SHOBHAA ji ab aap bhi
bas likh-likh ke hamari lena chod digiye…

(a yell)
…aur
kitne
hamari
maroge!

(a whisper) 
Ekdum BHAGAT bana doge kya?!

CANTO III:

(a high pitch statement)
Ab yeh agli baat pe koi vandalize mat karna

(with a smile in voice)
Chutti…
…kise achi nahin lagti

Susti…
(biting my tongue)
bhai, galti se sahi baat muh par aagayi!!!
Mein toh eknumber ka sustad hu!!!

Chutti kise achi nahin lagti…
BALASAHEB… aap ke siva hamara hai hi kaun…

BALASAHEB… aap ke siva hamara hai hi kaun…
aap ke siva Maharashtra Bandh hame dega kaun

(a yell)
Kisiki majal?!

(High pitch)
BALASAHEB… aap ke siva hamara hai hi kaun…
aap ke siva Maharashtra Bandh hame dega kaun

(a whisper)
Koi hai itne badi PRATIBHA?!

Poli-tickle & other dissertation

I feel like Khushwant Singh writing a satire
btw…HT should sack him… his writing sucks now
Chuck Norris is a far better read
Even a ‘now quiet’ Balasaheb should remain quiet this BMC election
there are so many people who can now ‘talk’
ya I am talking about Airtel customers talking whatever they missed for 3 days
even the ‘the Wall’ of India can now talk
no no… India doesn’t have funds to construct a-la-China Wall
btw… food at Mainland China is awesome… obviously expensive… wtf?
Oh ho… I was talking about apna Jam jam jammy’s speech at Bradman’s oration
Aree... where’s the other Rahul?
Rahul paani chala jaega… quickly marry…your choices are:
A) Maya’kali’wati   B) Sushma ‘tikka’ Swaraj 
C) Mamta ‘no tikka’ Banerjee D) Preity ‘shutup! Dimple means a shorter bone’ Zinta
Now that this CONgress scion is trying everything to UP his mettle
Oh no… there’s Thane cyclone in Chennai
Breaking news!!! Thane people are burning with rage…
They have decided to create a statue of the Chennai lad Dhanush and pee over it  
O shucks O shucks… I saw ANTI-CHRIST movie… I liked that harassment part…
On harassment note… RA-ONE killed me…
where SRK did to us… what RGV did with Sholay’s remake
One of my friend called Dev might bury me alive on this
no no Dev Anand is not my friend… he was a friend of Subrato Roy and Pritesh Nandy
and so many others who claimed Dev Anand to be their chuddybuddy after his demise
Anyways... I am waiting for R K Laxman to say dasvidaniya
I guess a TOI team is already working on that edition
I’ll just be on a reading-tron… same as Crest…
wtf is with these Crest people..they’re damaging my retina
God knows when am gonna read that unwritten novel of mine.
Cyrus Mistry (replacement of TATA)