Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I Like to Follow

He’s big on fb,
even bigger on twitter,
& like most, dwarf on Google+.

Dead on Orkut,
ghost on LinkedIn,
& never even farted on Friendio.

“What is Quora?” he asks on Quora,
accepts anyone & everyone on Foursquare,
& plans to do ‘Ctrl C & P’ on Goodreads.

Some have asked him “why on Blogspot
& not on Wordpress?”
& he says with pride “I’m now on Pintrest.”

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Poli-tickle & other dissertation

I feel like Khushwant Singh writing a satire
btw…HT should sack him… his writing sucks now
Chuck Norris is a far better read
Even a ‘now quiet’ Balasaheb should remain quiet this BMC election
there are so many people who can now ‘talk’
ya I am talking about Airtel customers talking whatever they missed for 3 days
even the ‘the Wall’ of India can now talk
no no… India doesn’t have funds to construct a-la-China Wall
btw… food at Mainland China is awesome… obviously expensive… wtf?
Oh ho… I was talking about apna Jam jam jammy’s speech at Bradman’s oration
Aree... where’s the other Rahul?
Rahul paani chala jaega… quickly marry…your choices are:
A) Maya’kali’wati   B) Sushma ‘tikka’ Swaraj 
C) Mamta ‘no tikka’ Banerjee D) Preity ‘shutup! Dimple means a shorter bone’ Zinta
Now that this CONgress scion is trying everything to UP his mettle
Oh no… there’s Thane cyclone in Chennai
Breaking news!!! Thane people are burning with rage…
They have decided to create a statue of the Chennai lad Dhanush and pee over it  
O shucks O shucks… I saw ANTI-CHRIST movie… I liked that harassment part…
On harassment note… RA-ONE killed me…
where SRK did to us… what RGV did with Sholay’s remake
One of my friend called Dev might bury me alive on this
no no Dev Anand is not my friend… he was a friend of Subrato Roy and Pritesh Nandy
and so many others who claimed Dev Anand to be their chuddybuddy after his demise
Anyways... I am waiting for R K Laxman to say dasvidaniya
I guess a TOI team is already working on that edition
I’ll just be on a reading-tron… same as Crest…
wtf is with these Crest people..they’re damaging my retina
God knows when am gonna read that unwritten novel of mine.
Cyrus Mistry (replacement of TATA)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Imagination

Sitting on the pyre of suns, moons and stars, I saw enlightenment.
Like a sati, I offered my living to be burnt. For the one called imagination.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Human : Nature


I live to kill myself everyday
knowingly or unknowingly
it does not matter now
pain has just ceased to exist in me

they say
humans are the son of nature
and water fire earth air made us

water cleaned soul
fire burned body
earth decomposed being
air vaporized truth

i die because they die everyday

Monday, November 21, 2011

Bloody Muslim Story

Swollen with knowledge eyelids hidden behind those thick black glasses, cactus-like thirsty for blood stubble, a flutter of semi-circled oiled hair camouflaging his unopened 3rd eye, the underdressed for the occasion khaki look, the dirt-laden jhola, the earthy chappals, and his tablet- a blue-inked Reynolds and a Gandhian diary.

Every bit of him identified him to his land where everyone thought he/she was a born economist- an apt person to run the reigns of a derailed country.

“Tera tetva dabau kya?” he hurled at the security.

“Tereko pata hai main kaun hu?” He knew it was a cliché yet it always worked for him.

After a few cuss words, he was standing in that palatial glitterati setup. He took a 360 degree look, got his heavy eyes fixed on a figure, and right then he startled that group which considered her as their cherry.

“So, what’s your story?” he nonchalantly disturbed their otherwise mild tête-à-tête.

All heads turned to him; and after what she replied, to her. The next couple of minutes the group became the audience of a tennis match. Left right… left right… first their neck… then their eyes... and though the mercury was low… the attendees to their conversation started profusely perspiring.

“You’ve taken your state’s name too literally BANG-ALL.” She retorted.

“At least I am not from LA-WHORE.” He matched her foot-to-foot.

She looked deep into his eyes. It made him instantly fall in love with her. In that moment, she made him live his entire life. She became his muse. Together they read Wuthering Heights, Fountainhead, like Deeti and Kalua from The Sea of Poppies they voyaged to live a life. She turned into Nandini of The Last Song of Dusk and they made love like wild animals. She gave birth to a beautiful daughter which became the meaning of his life. And then, she presented him his daughter cut-in-pieces.

“I am sorry about your wife brutally raped & murdered. You should try the Red-light area; it may give you some solace.”

“Are you the legal child of Mr. Sheikh. Or just his sheikh ‘ing’ offspring.” With that he said the unsaid.

She was a popular democrat’s daughter who was recently killed during a political rally. Aloof in Cambridge then, she was unaware of her father’s sexcapades. While a portion of media termed her as her father’s one-night stand waste… but the majority of her father’s allies broadcasted that the ashen kohl she wore was from her father’s ashes. She was burning with revenge.

“Considering your rank, your rant can cost you very dearly. Do you know that?”

“With my wife’s death, I have lost all my riches.”

“I can still inflict pain on whatever is left of you.”

“I am only trying to join the dots here.”

“Killing is not a game.”

“I did not say that. All I mean is… I have it in me to bring out the beast in others.” 

“Like Sigmund Freud?!”

“Yes my Virginia Woolf.”
“Let me elucidate. You are on the cusp of either directing or misdirecting a generation. Your father could have given his name to Guinness Book of World Records for sleeping with the most number of women, but, there was another side to him.”

“Your mother will be raped on open road and then pelted with stones to death, if you utter a word about my father.”

“All I want to say is… you are burning; I am already burnt. There is truth inside you; outside, the world is full of falsified information. You have a story; I have the pen.

She knew that Pakistani literature was at an all-time high in the market. A Case of Exploding Mangoes, The Reluctant Fundamentalist, Home Boy, Songs of Blood and Sword, Welcome to Americanistan. Everyone wanted to read bloody Muslim stories. Even she wanted to write one.

With that Arindham finally asked Nausheen. “I want to help you write a book about your father.”